


101 Reasons to Never Go Back

by Meilan_Firaga



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Menstruation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 07:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1501700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meilan_Firaga/pseuds/Meilan_Firaga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The fairy tale characters of Storybrooke spent a long time wanting nothing more than to get back to their home in the Enchanted Forest. Now, they've actually been back to that home, had their memories of it wiped, and returned to Storybrooke with those that managed to miss the first curse. Only, now they seem to be finding reasons why they'd rather stay.</p><p>An attempt at humorous short ficlets based on mundane reasons why the residents of Storybrooke might decide to stay in a modern world. I'll be taking prompts if anyone has an idea of a reason they'd like to see! :) Tags will be added as new ficlets are written and posted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	101 Reasons to Never Go Back

**Author's Note:**

> I own not a single bit of Once Upon a Time. More's the pity.
> 
> Title: #001 - Modern Visits from Aunt Flow  
> Character(s): Regina Mills | Evil Queen  
> Rating: PG-13  
> Warnings: heavy on the menstruation talk (cramps are a bitch, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise)

**Reason #001**

_Modern Visits from Aunt Flow_

 

Regina awoke to a familiar, miserable ache in her lower abdomen. Letting out a muffled groan, she curled briefly into her pillow before forcing herself to get up and handle the problem. The sheets had, thankfully, escaped any damage, which meant she'd probably woken up just in time. She'd barely stood up before she bent nearly double at the sharp pains. For three days every month, Regina would happily go back to senseless murder if it meant she could be a man instead of having a period. That morning was the perfect example as to why.

 She shuffled to the bathroom, one hand clutching her abdomen as she used the other to propel herself forward along the counter. Reaching up, she pulled a heavy fabric covered box down from one of the upper shelves over her toilet. This was the "monthly hate" box. It contained everything from the necessary products this genius world had created to medications and various remedies she's hunted down on the internet.

 Magic's most unfortunate side effect--in Regina's mind, at least--was the increased pain of her cramps. While her days of pain were few, they were intense in a way that she couldn't even begin to describe. Her womb would ache as though a fire had been set within it, and not in the way some erotic novels described. Some days she took to fever or felt her skull split with a pain to match the ache below. She could remember a few times back in the Enchanted Forest when she'd sent everyone in her castle off on imagined errands just to prevent them from seeing her weakness.

 That thought instantly brought her pause, eyes widening as realization slowly crept in. In Storybrooke, she had pain medications, heating pads, ice packs, and factory made products to keep from soiling her clothing. Hell, there were even certain types of birth control that could reduce the number of periods she had each year. Back in the Enchanted Forest, she would have had brews that rarely worked and rags held into place by none-too-reliable ties. She was suddenly very thankful that she couldn't remember the year she'd spent there after twenty-eight years in Storybrooke.

 Long moments later, she curled into bed on her side with a heating pad against her lower back, a cold pack on her front, and a dose of pain pills already down her throat. Regina had once thought that it would be in Henry's best interest if she took him back to the Enchanted Forest to live. Now, the pain brought her what must be certain clarity.

 Going back would be absolutely moronic.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have a Reason you'd like to see written (keeping in mind that I'm trying to stick to more mundane ones rather than the heavily story based), feel free to leave them as a comment, send them to me as a message, or even drop them in my askbox on [tumblr](http://kimaira-london.tumblr.com/ask)!


End file.
